IPANALO ANG TOTOO

Here's another great video by another dear friend, colleague and spiritual brother, Jay Cruz. Jay was a voice of utter cynicism in the PAGASA forum with Conrad de Quiros. He was sitting behind me and the heaviness of his words were really cutting. It took him a few months to join the PAGASA workshop after we invited him, but he came. And he has been with us since. What a force to contend with. Mae and Jay have really added energy, humor and excellence to our work. Jay's video is another winner. It really uplifts you! With talents like his and Mae's consciously and actively working on transforming our country, how can anyone feel hopeless?

MAE PANER'S "LUPANG HINIRANG"

I'm so proud of this video because a dear friend and spiritual sister, Mae Paner, created it.  She came to a PAGASA workshop a fantastic and talented commercial director, responsible for putting one or two people in the Senate.  She left the workshop feeling she could no longer use her gifts that way and created this instead.  This video has taken a life of its own and is inspiring Filipinos everywhere.  I've been waiting to upload this and now, finally, here it is. Amazing.

YOU HAVE TO COME!!!

I have been neglecting my blog because I have been very busy with PAGASA and the related initiatives.  The next one coming up is "Pepe Goes to Market".  This will be a festival that celebrates truth so please try and make it.  Check out the schedule of activities and make sure you  block the dates.  If you feel like you want to be part of the energy that's working hard to transform this country from the inside out, but don't know where to begin, this is it!  I hope to see you there.

INTEGRITY EVERYWHERE

 

My heart broke last week when a most respected and loved columnist wrote that he didn’t mind a president with mistresses, but wouldn’t abide a liar and a cheat. I’m still in mourning. I don’t understand how infidelity can be acceptable if integrity is the primary requirement for a leader. In order to govern with integrity, that leader must first live it.

 

Integrity isn’t something you put on for work and hang in the closet in exchange for your slippers at the end of the day. It lives in your bones. It holds you upright no matter where you are, no matter who you’re with. Integrity cannot be fragmented. This is why I cannot imagine settling for a leader who might be able to govern well but will repeatedly cheat on his wife. Infidelity corrupts the soul of families and predisposes innocent children to a future of lies and deceit. Some will argue that what their families don’t know or see won’t hurt them but I say these are the very things that will wound them deeply. Children do not have to see the details, but everything that happens in and around them—everything the parents carry in their souls—are imbibed by them unconsciously and will sprout into god-knows-what in adulthood. The dawning of this reality altered the course of my life and continues to influence it.

 

During a recent PAGASA forum, Fr. Albert Alejo of EHEM! spoke about "The Culture of Corruption". He said corruption kills. Corruption in the DOH robs sick people of medicine. Corruption in the DENR causes landslides. It does kill. Cheating on your family is corruption of the first water. It deprives them of clarity and health of soul. It robs them of truth and choice. Cheating is cheating. There are no degrees. A president who has a mistress is already a cheat. If he can betray those he vowed to love and cherish, what is it to him to wound an entire nation of faceless men and women?

 

A reader recently wrote that at least GMA is the devil that we know. By asking for special elections, he felt PAGASA was exposing the Philippines to a greater danger—that of a devil we don’t know. I could have wept. Settle for a devil we know? How can we settle for any kind of evil? This is why PAGASA’s first and foremost call is for inner change. What is inside will inevitably seep out into the world. It cannot be held in. What is rotten will not bear fruit. There is no way around it.

 

We are in this mess because corruption has become convenient. We shake our heads, might feel a twinge of guilt or remorse but do it anyway. We make a u-turn where we shouldn’t because going the right way will eat up time already taken away by the unbearable traffic. Everyone else is doing it anyway. Why go the extra mile? Anyway, we can pay our way through with cash or rank, especially if we are a government official. All we need to do is flash our infamous face to the traffic enforcer and we’re off. We tell our children drugs are dangerous but indulge in them because we know what we’re doing. Besides, we’re only social users. We instruct our helpers to tell callers we’re not home, even as our children look on perplexed. Aren’t we home, right by the phone? What does it teach them about us, about life, about what it means to be a fully responsible, socially engaged Filipino?

 

Even as we call for change, very few are calling for the fundamental change of the Filipino himself. But that is impossible. We cannot change structures, if those who will inhabit them are not changed. We cannot expect a clean government if those who run it do not hold integrity as an incorruptible value. We cannot expect our children to be citizens of truth if we habitually negate our vows—words we uttered on our own, aloud, in Church, before a priest, before the image and likeness of the Christ.

 

We are human and sin is part of our destiny, but how we consciously transform it makes all the difference. When the dust has settled and we start picking through the rubble, do we resolve to become better people and will the changes, or do we shed tears, make all the appropriate noises, and then fall back into the cycle of untruth?

 

We cannot change anything in government if we are not willing to make the changes in our personal lives. What good is a clean government if society continues to tread the muddy path? Everything begins at home. If we are going to demand integrity of our leaders, we should aim for the whole package. I fully accept the humanity and weakness of every leader, but I do care that he or she always strives for wholeness and good.

 

Integrity from within is the only kind that brings true and lasting change. Everything else is fluff.

Feb 2006

ON TIME

I sometimes think I was born Filipino as a result of perennial tardiness in a past life.  I am always on time and suffer at the hands of the constantly late. The few times I am late, I suffer through such anxiety because it makes me feel terrible. I cannot stand the thought of tiptoeing into a quiet room, making that noise doors always make when you open and shut them (which is always amplified when you’re late), or having people turn around and look at me because I’ve disrupted their concentration. I don’t like having friends or acquaintances waiting idly for me when they could be cuddling their kids.  I would rather wait—-even if I’m inwardly fuming—-than be the one everybody’s waiting for. But since I am Filipino, I have learned to bring books and lately, even my laptop, to all appointments as I know that others think nothing of having people wait for them. 

It’s not easy to be on time in this country, what with the traffic and the prevalent casual attitude towards punctuality, but it can be done.  I do it all the time.  I don’t think my children have ever been late for school because we sleep early so we can get up early and not have to hustle frantically against the current of morning stress.  Not that our mornings are stress-free.  Like every family, we are plagued with the usual social and logistical obstacles:  I don’t want to eat that. Yes, but that’s what we’re eating today. I want to wear my green shirt. But it’s still in the wash. Can you wash it now? No, you’ll have to wear something else.  You know how it goes.  But arriving at our destination on time is never a problem because my children have imbibed our attitude towards time. Whatever else crops up, they know that if we don’t leave at 7:20, we run the risk of getting to school late and they don’t like that idea.

When I say “on time”, I mean with a few minutes to spare, so we can ease into a place and situation and be more than ready to engage in whatever awaits us. For children, especially, it is crucial that they start with the class on time.  Otherwise, they feel insecure and left out of the space already created by those who have stepped into the morning in a healthy, unhurried pace.

My sons are big on punctuality and I take pride in that.  I’m glad they know the value of time.  I never want them to think that the world stops for them or that being late is no big deal.  It is.  Being late is inconsiderate.  It assumes others have nothing better to do.

I used to heap praises on a self-awareness seminar I had to attend in the past. Then one day, one of the facilitators and I decided to get together.  I had such respect and affection for her and was really looking forward to lunch.  There I was, waiting alone in the restaurant, starving, and doing a mental review of instructions I had left for the children, when the first text arrived.  She would be late.  Twenty minutes later, still no lunch date, but texts were coming in now and again—of apology and assurance that lunch was on. I offered to postpone but no, she said she’d be there shortly. A little over an hour later, I decided her concept of time was simply off. It had nothing to do with the clock. I left with very little respect for the person I had so looked up to and none at all for the self-development program she was offering to corporations all over the country.

It would have been simpler, kinder, and more considerate to cancel than to keep saying she would be there soon when she knew she was already appallingly late. That way, I could have spent the time more productively.  I could have given our table to someone else.  I could have eaten with my children. I could have done anything but waste that hour waiting. I know that things happen, mostly when you’re in a mad rush, but I also know that if you plan your day well and stick to it, you will rarely ever be late. I also know that if you value your own time, you won’t be casual about someone else’s. Most of all, I now know I will no longer wait!

It is a spiritual practice to commit to showing up anywhere on time.  It is a very simple but profound way of honoring each other and the activity you all agreed to be part of, whether it is a class, meeting, or any kind of appointment. It is an exercise of will.  I admit it is not that easy here but we all already know how long it will take—with or without traffic, when it’s raining, when there is roadwork—to get to one point from the next.  We take that and throw in a few more minutes just in case, and then simply work backwards. It can be done. Those of us who are always made to wait, should also put our foot down and start on time if we’re fortunate enough to be in control.  If we say we start at 4pm, we do it.  If we say we end at 6pm, we make it happen.

Show up on time. It’s the simplest way to show respect—for others and the work we are all trying to do in the world.

August 2006

LEAP

A friend and I were lamenting the state of our country last week.  He said he wished he didn’t have to work with government so much because it makes him lose his integrity, but he does not have a choice because business is so bad and he needs his government accounts.  I told him about a friend whose business is wastewater treatment.  In the beginning he tried working with government and had to deal with all kinds of corruption.  He finally told his partners he was not going to contribute to any kind of corruption anymore.  They countered that they would never make money that way.  He pointed out that they weren’t making money anyway.  So they bit the bullet and went the brave way.   It was a slow year and there was a time he really felt he had thrown his money away, but the business suddenly picked up.  Today, big corporations come to him because they know his company is straight.  His business has expanded considerably.

 

Another friend, the owner of a Petron gas station on Timog, won an award for being one of a handful of stations properly calibrating their machines.  She said it took some time to find an accountant who respected her decision to run a clean business, but she patiently waited until the right person came along.   And she did. Her clients come to her because they know she is honest.  I go to her for the same reason.  Her business is flourishing and she sleeps well at night.  It does pay to be honest, even in business.

 

Oprah Winfrey recently interviewed actor Isaiah Washington.  Before he became hot Dr. Burke in the television hit “Grey’s Anatomy”, he was mostly playing gangsters.  After playing villain for years, he reached a turning point when his character in one movie was thrown off a roof.  "I realized all the work I have done—30 films—this is the crème de la crème?" said Washington. "The metaphor of the imagery of being thrown off and representing hip-hop and all these things… And I just said, 'This is not the truth that I want to represent. And if this is the idea of success for me, then I need to step back and start reevaluating what I want to do.'"  He shared that when he made that decision, the “Grey’s Anatomy” role came up.  Not only does he have a hit television series on his resume, he is now a better role model for many African Americans.  Washington believes that you need to make careful decisions about where you put your energy.  When he decided to stop playing the bad guy, his opportunities changed for the better.  The point is, he made the leap.

 

I believe that.  It has happened to me many times.  I know the fear of uncertainty.  I sometimes find myself awake and frightened at night, anxious about my future, but I always put myself back to sleep knowing that a life supported by truth and integrity will always be properly guided. This does not come without discomfort, of course, and I think that is what most people are afraid of.  You can choose to be straight but you also need to prepare yourself for lean times.  Not many believe that the rewards will be greater but I have to say that my experiences have proven they are.  It may not translate to material wealth, but it does mean entering a better personal space all together.  It always means getting closer to your highest potential as a human being.  It helps to remember that nothing worthwhile is ever easy.

 

I understand my friend’s fears.  It seems simpler to go with the downward flow—to keep up the bribery and the dubious business practices. But I believe that if we choose to take that road, we should acknowledge (to ourselves at the very least) that we are contributing to the evils that plague our country.  There is no question about it.  When we choose corruption, we make it ever more impossible to change our country for the better. We can grumble about the corrupt government officials but for as long as we are giving in, we are just as guilty.  That is the truth.  If you persist in ignoring your conscience and looking the other way, at least be completely conscious of your actions and its repercussions, because the energy you put out there will come back to you on many levels.  There is no “if” about it. 

 

What stops us from doing the right thing is fear of the unknown; it is fear of having less and not trusting that better things await us.  This is thanks to our growing materialism.  If we do not have the right brands covering our behinds, we feel we do not matter.  If we do not have the latest gadgets, we are just not with it.  If we don’t show up on the society pages at least once a week, we are nobody.  If our children are not in international schools, they won’t show up on society pages either.  If we are not rolling in money and FAST, we have failed. Our narrow materialistic worldview convinces us that taking these morally-challenged shortcuts work.  They will get things done.  But we fail to measure the cost.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I like to be comfortable, but my comfort today is driven by a consciousness that extends beyond my superficial needs.  I will spend for homeopathic remedies, biodegradable, non-toxic detergents and cleaning agents, but never for an IT bag (whatever the hell that means).  I will buy organic and biodynamic when I can.  These are the essential luxuries I allow my family and myself because the benefits penetrate deeply into our health and the health of the planet. These things I spend for. 

 

Contrary to what people like to think, I know what it is like not to have enough.  I also know what it is like to have a lot.  I have to say that the only true difference is your perspective.  What kind of person are you during lean times?  Who are you in abundance?  It is the true you that matters, rich or poor.  Really, that is all we have.  That is our greatest wealth.  So, when we say we cannot do anything about the corruption in this country because we need to play along to survive, we turn our backs on our best and highest selves.  The essence of who you are does not come from what you have.  Government should not cause you to lose your integrity.  Integrity is not negotiable. 

 

It all goes back to what you think your life is about.  It was relatively easy for me to figure this out because I am blessed with children.  Children wake you up to spiritual truths and constantly remind you of the things that matter.  If you think your life is merely about making money and living comfortably and then poof! you are gone, then I guess corruption can be just a stitch on your side.  But if something deep inside tells you that your life is much more than that and you begin to recognize your role in humanity and the world, corruption cannot be just that.  It becomes a moral struggle that you vow to win.

 

Anything that causes you to feed the darkness in yourself and in society must be courageously shunned. It is a matter of inner strength and clarity.  It is a matter of remembering who you really are.  That pureness and light you were born with was meant to shine out into the world to heal it.  It is there.  You only need to decide to turn it on and keep it aflame.  You can choose to say no to corruption and live happily with the changes such a powerful decision will bring into your life.  The life you live affects the rest of humanity.  You know what’s right, now all you need to do is live it.  Take the leap and never doubt that you have everything it takes to make our country whole again.

November 2006

A NEW BLOG

I've started a new blog called The Conscious Parent. It's really for Waldorf moms but everyone is welcome to view it. The main difference is that I've posted articles I've written in The Philippine Star since 2001. They're mostly related to Steiner Education and parenting, but there are also lots of articles on life there. In the course of working on that blog, I've discovered several pieces that you may enjoy, so I will start posting them here, with the dates of publication, just so you have a timeline.