WITCH ON WHEELS

Really. Must I be a witch to get the kind of service we all deserve? I'm not even asking to be treated differently, but I find myself having to bring out my inner witch (which is fast becoming my outer) just to get people to step up to the appropriate level of professionalism. Must it be so?

I recently received a statement to pay for annual fees for a credit card I had terminated last year. I terminated it precisely because they couldn't get their act together.  I paid my bill as usual and they didn't post it.  Then they proceeded to charge me late fees and finance charges, despite the number of calls I made to correct their error. So I killed the account.  Then suddenly, after months of thinking I was rid of that, out surfaces another bill.  WHAT??? Whenever I call the hotline--make that tepid-line-- I am either put on forever-hold, or have to deal with a busy signal. Why is service so hard to come by?

I sometimes blame years of  living abroad for my frustration, but that's just the cushion I like to lie on from time to time. The truth is, I'm not wrong to expect things to simply go right!  I have been going through nightmare situations with a plumber, contractors, not to mention the daily irritants with salespeople in stores everywhere. Over the holidays, I walked into the housewares section of an upscale department store, to find a group of salespeople practicing a choreographed dance number, their sound system overriding the store's own Christmas carols. They were doing this amidst the breakables, mind you, and the presence of customers did nothing to awaken them to the inappropriateness of their behavior. I flashed them a look of displeasure and decided to leave as it was clearly not a day I was going to get good service.

Recently, I noticed a smell coming off some of my plates and asked the dishwasher service people what that might be.  The day they came, my stoneware had the smell but the regular dishes didn't.  Their diagnosis: don't use the stoneware in the dishwasher.  That was as far we they were willing to go.  There was no inclination to check further, probe somewhere, think more. That was it. I had to explain, with super-human patience, that I used all the dishes in a tinier dishwasher last year and never had that problem. To date, the company has not given me a satisfying answer. Instead, I asked a plumber (oh, but let's not go there)to diagnose the problem, which he did, and now we are testing the efficacy of his solution.

Only yesterday I asked another credit card company for a reversal of late fees because their inability to fulfill my request to re-send me paper bills a few months ago, again threw me for a loop.  Yes, sure, they would do that, but first I had to pay the fees. Fine, I said, already gathering my deepest breaths, but I don't have to call you again to remind you, right?  Maam, I'm sorry but you will have to call us again after you've paid because we cannot process the request for reversal until you have paid. Yes, but why do I have to call you again? Maam, I'm sorry but.....

But what, really, I wonder? But I am unable to think beyond the parameters written on whatever handbook I have in front of me? But I don't want to think that there might be an underlying problem that has nothing to do with whether the plates are made of glass, ceramic or clay? But what?

In the meantime, I wonder why one has to bare fangs in order for people to do what they ought to.  Do we have to get to the point of letter-writing to see things done properly? It's only when an establishment's reputation is threatened that people begin to move as they should.

Really, must I be a witch on wheels?