SOCIAL HYGIENE

What is it? To me, it is keeping social spaces clear of unwarranted clutter. And this begins with keeping conversations and correspondence private.  Unless the exchange happens in an e-group or is spoken aloud within a group, one must assume that any information traded is private. That is social hygiene.  Once you start passing information along that was not meant for others, you begin to clutter space, create conflict and ill will.

Especially today where information can be passed along so quickly, we must learn to create firmer boundaries.  As recipients and bearers of information, we must be quick about assessing ourselves in relation to the information we find ourselves privy to.

I have to remind myself about this constantly because it is so easy to get sucked into the vortex of information-sharing when you assume certain boundaries are present.  So you lay your thoughts and feelings wide open only to find out that the only boundaries present were yours. Your information was passed along without the benefit of your context. Already, a different story is born, shrouded in the context and emotions of its new and self-appointed bearer. And that is how cracks begin in relationships.  To me, such experiences are lessons in trust and I learn them quickly. We all should.

If something of consequence emerges in a conversation or through correspondence and you feel others would benefit from it, the best thing to do is ask permission from the source.  Is it okay to forward the email?  Is it okay to relay the message? Is it okay to repeat the story outside of this circle?  It is such a simple gesture, really, but one that shows great respect for the thoughts and feelings of others. It is hygienic!  It doesn't create conflict but rather opens the windows for light to shine through.  What a difference that makes. It is straightforward, clear, and in no way creates false perceptions about people and events, simply because you honored the source.

We are all guilty of this.  When we feel friendships have deepened and important experiences shared, we open up and begin to trade information casually, assuming that everyone will respect what is being said.  There are people in my circle I trust and have trusted for decades and they have not disappointed.  So I relax and assume that most people share the same sensibilities. It isn't so. In this day of information craziness, we have to be much more careful and stricter with our personal boundaries.  Practicing social hygiene is a show of respect we must all strive for.  The health and survival of our communities depend on it.