Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
VIOLENCE AT THE VALLEY GOLF & COUNTRY CLUB
If you don't already know this story, check it out here:
If you do, then you must be as angry and appalled as the rest of us. Yesterday, I went out for the first time since the Christmas holidays and found myself watching everyone extra carefully. That middle-aged man in shorts perusing the fruit could have been Mr. dela Paz. The bunch of men converging around the steaks could have been the culprits. I found myself looking at everyone with a different eye, thinking how up close and personal everything really is. What happened to the dela Paz family could happen to any of us. I could rub someone the wrong way at the check-out counter and, just like that, become the topic of the next blog. And what then?
When terrible things happen, I always try to understand why by asking what the entire event really means in the largest possible picture. Clearly, it means something for the dela Paz family because their lives are forever changed. It ought to mean something to the Pangandaman family because their lives should and must be forever changed as well. But to the rest of us, all citizens who are currently acting and reacting in rage and sadness, it means something as well. And I feel the significance of this goes very deep into the relationship between individual and society. This is the question that plagues us all. This is the question of our country.
After we have written, texted and blogged about this horror, what? How do we move the sadness and anger into actions for change? It is a major wake-up call, but the end result--waking up and actually getting up--lies in our hands. Are we going to just blab about it, or are we going to make CHANGE move and animate us? How?
In our PAGASA workshops we do our darndest to establish first the very real connection between the individual and society. After all, society is nothing more than individuals together forming institutions, each one bigger than the other, each reflecting shared or dissonant values and worldviews. But most of us feel, in our day-to-day life, only the boundaries of what we see--our school, office or home--and thus become ever more disconnected to the larger reality of society and how our every thought and action actually contributes to that great whole, making us very much a part of it, whether we acknowledge the connection or not. Because we see only our separateness, we are able to live in apathy. We are able to say, "I will just do my own little thing in my own little corner and let everyone else take care of politics". We don't think about the big picture. We don't engage in it. We simply disassociate, severing any link or tie to that mud-and-gore drenched abyss. We continue to think small because we allow our sense of what we don't see to overwhelm us. And it is overwhelming. But it is not insurmountable if we all begin to move today in our lives, carrying the picture of how we must be bearers and agents of change.
Then we hear about the dela Paz family and everything comes home. Suddenly we feel the full weight of helplessness on our shoulders --and anger and fear and rage. All of it. Suddenly the tragedy connects us again. But it isn't just the rage and anger that connect us, but our shared destiny as a people. We must revel in that and have the power of that reality live in us. It is the thing that will move us into productive action again. It gives us the goal we so need--not one more thing to fight against. Our shared destiny as Filipinos is the thing to fight for.
Our destiny as a people is not to be bullied by people in office who shouldn't even be there to begin with. It is not just their country; it is ours. But until we take that possiblity right back into our hands, we are effectively giving it up again and allowing these monsters to take control. That Pangandaman Sr. motored (or maybe even flew) to Baguio to join the Arroyo party and was, by his telling, simply asked by Mrs. Arroyo about the incident, speaks volumes. This brand of bullying has not just become par for the course under her administration; it has become blatant. Because we have allowed every scandal to go unchecked, allowed her to stay in office, allowed our rage to peter out, every bully feels superhuman and supremely untouchable. They all feel completely immune to the law. They feel they are the law and they will do what they will with it.
When terrible things happen, I always try to understand why by asking what the entire event really means in the largest possible picture. Clearly, it means something for the dela Paz family because their lives are forever changed. It ought to mean something to the Pangandaman family because their lives should and must be forever changed as well. But to the rest of us, all citizens who are currently acting and reacting in rage and sadness, it means something as well. And I feel the significance of this goes very deep into the relationship between individual and society. This is the question that plagues us all. This is the question of our country.
After we have written, texted and blogged about this horror, what? How do we move the sadness and anger into actions for change? It is a major wake-up call, but the end result--waking up and actually getting up--lies in our hands. Are we going to just blab about it, or are we going to make CHANGE move and animate us? How?
In our PAGASA workshops we do our darndest to establish first the very real connection between the individual and society. After all, society is nothing more than individuals together forming institutions, each one bigger than the other, each reflecting shared or dissonant values and worldviews. But most of us feel, in our day-to-day life, only the boundaries of what we see--our school, office or home--and thus become ever more disconnected to the larger reality of society and how our every thought and action actually contributes to that great whole, making us very much a part of it, whether we acknowledge the connection or not. Because we see only our separateness, we are able to live in apathy. We are able to say, "I will just do my own little thing in my own little corner and let everyone else take care of politics". We don't think about the big picture. We don't engage in it. We simply disassociate, severing any link or tie to that mud-and-gore drenched abyss. We continue to think small because we allow our sense of what we don't see to overwhelm us. And it is overwhelming. But it is not insurmountable if we all begin to move today in our lives, carrying the picture of how we must be bearers and agents of change.
Then we hear about the dela Paz family and everything comes home. Suddenly we feel the full weight of helplessness on our shoulders --and anger and fear and rage. All of it. Suddenly the tragedy connects us again. But it isn't just the rage and anger that connect us, but our shared destiny as a people. We must revel in that and have the power of that reality live in us. It is the thing that will move us into productive action again. It gives us the goal we so need--not one more thing to fight against. Our shared destiny as Filipinos is the thing to fight for.
Our destiny as a people is not to be bullied by people in office who shouldn't even be there to begin with. It is not just their country; it is ours. But until we take that possiblity right back into our hands, we are effectively giving it up again and allowing these monsters to take control. That Pangandaman Sr. motored (or maybe even flew) to Baguio to join the Arroyo party and was, by his telling, simply asked by Mrs. Arroyo about the incident, speaks volumes. This brand of bullying has not just become par for the course under her administration; it has become blatant. Because we have allowed every scandal to go unchecked, allowed her to stay in office, allowed our rage to peter out, every bully feels superhuman and supremely untouchable. They all feel completely immune to the law. They feel they are the law and they will do what they will with it.
"When will it be enough?" This has been asked in so many of the threads on this latest trapo display of injustice. It will only be enough when we say it is. When we start connecting the daily things we say and do to the larger concerns of our country and stop saying "E, wala naman akong magagawa at wala namang magbabago." The truth is, so much can be done once we've all decided to be the change we want to see. If everyone stopped being morally lazy, our country would change. If we simply take a moment, right now, to see what in our lives we ought to change that mirrors the greater corruption in our society, so much would already move. What part of our lives need to be made straight? Which areas are a reflection of the Valley Golf incident? In what ways have we mimicked or contributed to the same energy? Is corruption, in any form, living in your home and what are you doing about it?
The world is at a turning point. Obama won. We are at the beginning of what could be the worst global recession yet. Everywhere, things are coming to a head. What is really being asked of us as human beings who inhabit and co-create this world? The Valley Golf incident is but one wake-up call and it is coming closer and closer to home. Unless we start living in full recognition of how each of us is a major player in the destiny of our people and our country, these stories will only get worse.
Each time we look to the world for answers, we need to look into ourselves with questions. This is one way of making sure we behave responsibly and actively wherever we are, never falling into the trap of finger-pointing, but situating ourselves first and determining how we can create and co-create a better future.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Good Work
I started doing our laundry after my helpers broke our washing machine for the nth time several years ago. I haven't stopped and our washer hasn't conked out since. When I built my house, I made sure the laundry room was upstairs, right next to my study. I have to say it is one of my most-used spaces! Since I've taken over this task, our clothes are lasting longer, nothing turns pink, shrinks or is damaged. Everything lasts longer, my whites don't ever turn gray, and the delicates are always nicely cared for.
My friends laugh at my thing for laundry but to me it's one of the most therapeutic household chores! I love putting a load in and waiting for the dirt to rise, knowing everything will come out clean, renewed and ready for another round of living. It is truly one of my joys.
Folding laundry is another zen experience for me and is a sort of review of my life. I can tell so much about the week just from the clothes I fold. I remember with a pang of relief that a child was sick (and is well at last), because of the unusual amount of pajamas I had to wash. I can sense how roughly my children played in school by the pile of extra shirts and clothes I am taking extra time to fold. I also feel that I am putting my touch on their clothes, getting in there in ways that will hold them when they are not with me. It is a quiet time full of stories told and untold--yet another way of holding my family close.
Some people have looked at my laundry room and me in awe, as if it were such an impossible tandem, but my household chores ground and calm me. They put me right at the center of my family, so that no matter how badly the day goes, how imperfect or short-tempered I was, I know that I am there still, right where I need to be. I know that my children will feel my care everywhere--there in the food they eat, there in the clean clothes they wear.
Housework is good work. I am happy that my hands are able to care for my boys and I know that they will grow up with a fuller sense of what it means to have a family.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
GIVING
November 30 will be the first Advent Sunday. So begins our journey towards Christmas. Already the air is changed; the quality of darkness is smooth and thick as velvet.
Everywhere we turn we are enveloped by the feeling of anxiety over the worldwide economic crisis. We are all feeling the pinch, one way or another. I have written before that there is a positive aspect to this crisis; it pushes us towards the essence of things. What do we really need? What ought we give?
I see this Christmas as the beginning of clear and conscious spending and giving--not just for the season but for the years to come. Because money is tight all around, we have to be more aware of where we put it and to be vigilant that our attitude towards it doesn't become one of contraction. On the contrary, I feel it necessary to keep this energy of money moving but in positive and meaningful ways. Let's put our money behind initiatives we want to thrive and flourish in the world.
I plan to make a list of people and things I would like to truly support next year and allocate whatever funds I may have already--in the beginning of the year--so that I am not blindsided by requests for help towards one thing or the other, mostly at the expense of my personal budget. Even in our giving habits, we have to be clear and organized! I have found myself giving towards something I didn't plan on and then ending up with a personal deficit. That's not healthy either. Part of conscious spending is keeping yourself in a position where you don't have to scramble and panic because you didn't leave enough for yourself.
You can make birthdays and Christmases all about giving to the projects you want to see happen and then just make--handmade is better--a card for whoever is having a birthday, reflecting your donation and a short description of the initiative, that may inspire that person to give as well. In other words, we shift the emphasis from the material to the spiritual-material. This is money well spent.
This economic crisis can bring us into healthier relationships with money, spending and giving, if we just put more thought and heart into what we have and what we want to make happen in our communities and the world around us. It is not a time to hoard but to make sure that we participate in the conscious movement of whatever we have--now more than ever--towards our greater reality. We do not have to give huge amounts, but whatever little extra we have can go towards that energy of including more individuals and communities in the changes that we need to make happen, possibly through courses that individuals can take to sharpen their skills--as teachers, parents, caregivers--however the opportunities present themselves in your life. We also have to put a stop to saying yes, just because we are being led by our emotions. This is a time for bringing true form and discipline in the energy of gift-giving, saying yes to those initiatives you truly believe in and no to those that do not resonate.
Everyone has something to give towards change. This is a wonderful time to put all your talents to true use and this begins by owning all the talents you have and deciding to put it to use for others. Our concept of wealth has to shift from "money" to everything else that really matters. Money is not the only things that makes this world go round. This financial crisis is proof of its destructive nature. Now, more than ever, we have to honor abundance where it has always been, discarding thoughts and feelings of scarcity that will truly manifest if we persist.
This crisis can be the very thing that can bring balance into the world at last. Let us do our share by making things right where we are and begin to give clearly and consciously towards initiatives that will create the changes we so want to see in the world.
Friday, October 17, 2008
PINOY!!!!
I've never been attached to labels. Why spend megabucks (enough to send kids to school, feed multiple families, or do other much needed, life-giving work in the world) for anything that has someone else's name or trademark on it? I couldn't live with myself. I guess my weaknesses lie elsewhere. But for innovations like these, I do my share and spread the word.
Say hi to the "Maria" collection--so proudly Pinoy. I own a Sili Labuyo, which I will be collecting soon, courtesy of my sister, Tam, who conceptualized and designed the bags! Brilliant! I know, nepotism and all that, but really it's a great product and I would have featured it here even if the genius behind it didn't share my blood. Just so happens we do.
There are other designs as well but for some reason I'm unable to post all of them at this time. This is merely the first blush. As we speak, other products in the line are on the way. For now, make sure you get yourself a bag that says something! Why say LV (all over the bag!)when you can say something more interesting like Kalachuchi, Dalandan or Suha?? (Yup, the line has those, too). Check them out at the Global Pinoy Bazaar on Cuenca St., Ayala Alabang Village on October 18 & 19, the Urban Bazaar at the Rockwell tent on October 24 & 25 and at the Assumption Bazaar at the Intercon on November 23. You can also email your orders to tamilabags@gmail.com.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)