For Wyngard

Rowell, Wyngard, Olive, Agot, me and Garlic

I lost a friend today. In truth, he was so much more than that.  He was a mother to me. I was 15 or 16 when I first met him. Even then he looked out for me, often offering guidance no one else seemed capable of at the time. We reconnected in the early 90s for a few intense years where we spent most nights together eating, laughing, telling stories, and becoming the best of friends. He introduced me to Rei and the three of us made an odd but wildly fun triangle. We would part late at night, only to call each other again to talk and laugh about the evening. At the height of this friendship he said, "Dadating din ang araw na magkakahiwalay tayo, tandaan niyo iyan, mag-aaway tayo, tapos magkakabati na naman tayo, sama-sama ulit, tapos mag-iiba na naman. Ganoon talaga ang buhay." And, of course, he was right.

That intensity died down when I married and had children, though we still saw each other sporadically through the years. When it was just the two of us, we never did small talk. Wyngard was always privy to the major stories of my life and too often predicted stuff I could not foresee, or refused to see. He always knew what others couldn't know. He kept my deepest pains close to his heart and he never forgot. Whenever I tried to make light of things, he saw through me. He would never allow me to disguise my feelings.  He would call me on them and I had no choice but to own up. We always laughed together. He was the epitome of tough love and had no patience for pretension or frivolity.

The last time I saw him he was recovering from a grueling heart surgery. Before the operation, I had visited him and wanted to talk him out of it, but we had reached that point of full acceptance in our friendship.  I respected his decision to heal his physical heart through surgery, even though I so wanted him to approach it differently.  The visit was light and very funny and, as usual, there was no end to his visitors. He was so loved. He survived the surgery and was well enough to see me and other friends for dinner.

He was already sitting at our table when I walked in. He stood up and said, "O, as usual tayo na naman ang maaga." Then we hugged, kissed, and got down to business.  He asked me pointed questions about my life and scolded me for being "too nice".  I laughed, but it warmed my heart to be reminded that he always had my back.  I asked about his surgery and he told me how difficult recovery was and how painful, and I told him I could never have endured what he had.  What were the chances of anyone surviving something like that?

The day I heard of the post-surgery stroke, I had woken up thinking of him.  I had told him I would lend him my Mad Men dvds, and since I live so far from the city, I was working out a schedule in my head.  But it wasn't meant to be. He never quite woke up again.  That dinner we had in September was the last time I saw him. I am happy to remember him that way.

He hasn't left my thoughts since and I am full of gratitude today for everything he was to me.  Each time I shed tears, I also hear his admonishment: "Ang drama ha. Hindi bagay sa suot mo." Or something like that. Even in death he makes me laugh.

There are so many, many memories, but they are for me to keep. I write this now as an offering, to put him here on this space, on this day. I love you, Wyngard, and I will miss everything about you. I thank you for watching over me, for seeing through me, and never allowing me to be anything but myself. Next time will be much better. I look forward to it already.

Today, Wyngard Tracy left the earth and was born to the angels. I am honored to have been part of his journey.



Thank you GARLIC GARCIA for the photo.

Nostalgia

Yes. it's the 45th anniversary of this wonderful film. I remember it well. It is also a very special film in our family because it's the first my children ever saw.

I watched the Oprah episode with the cast and found myself feeling quite sentimental and nostalgic. Seeing all the actors who played the Von Trapp children as adults makes one feel the passage of time. There were behind the scenes photos, too.  The one that struck me the most was of a very young Julie Andrews holding the hand of her toddler daughter. That photo reminded me of how simple life was for actors at the time and also how actors were actors and not the stars and megastars they are today, constantly hounded by cameras--their bags, shoes, relationships, blings, successes, failures, faux pas, always scrutinized and broadcasted.  You could be an actor then and have a life.  How many of us even knew she was a young mother at the time? What did we really know about her?

Today it's all about too much information.  Just a few nights ago, a local actress was interviewed and suddenly, somehow, they were talking about her underwear.  Who wants to know?  I certainly don't. But the sad thing is, so many others do.  The world today pushes information at you. It's almost impossible to keep it out and many just keep wanting more, thinking nothing of propriety.

How much do we really need to know? The challenge is to know that all that information is out there, but  to be able to determine which ones hold water. I am guilty of the same in this day and age of Twitter and Facebook, but that one photograph brought it home for me.

Simplicity, dignity--these do not have to belong to the past.

Give!

A Gift

It's a special day for me. I was putting my house in order when I decided to open a favorite book, The Human Life, by George and Gisela O'Neil. The book opened to this page and I thought it so appropriate, given what we are dealing with in the issues surrounding the RH Bill. It was an uplifting present.

RUDOLF STEINER ON THE THEME: THE NEW LANGUAGE

I am born prejudiced and must first achieve in life the freedom from thought and prejudice. And how can I acquire this here on earth? Only through this: that I unfold interest not merely for what I myself think, what I consider to be right, but that I unfold selfless interest, in everything that others think and that approaches me, however much I consider it to be in error.


The more a man insists upon his own headstrong opinions, and is interested only in these, the more does he stray from the Spirit of Humanity--at this moment of World evolution.


The more a man unfolds his social interest in the views of others, even if he considers them to be in error; the more he illuminates his own thoughts through the views of others; the more he juxtaposes his own thoughts (which he perhaps takes for truth) alongside the thoughts of others, which he considers mistaken but still willingly shows interest in them; the more he will experience within the innermost part of his soul the christ Word that today must be interpreted according to the new Christ language....


In this way Christ speaks today to those who wish to hear Him: "What one of the least of your brethren thinks, you have to value thus, that I think within him and that I feel with you, as you compare his thoughts with your own, as you show social interest for what goes on in the soul of the other.  What you find as notion, as life view in one of the least of your brethren, in this you will seek Me." So speaks the Christ into our thought life...


Christ is the God of all men. We will not find Him when, with our thoughts, we stay egoistically within ourselves, but only when we weigh our thoughts in comparison with thoughts of others; when in inner tolerance we expand our interest in everything that is human; when we tell ourselves: Through my birth I am a man of prejudice. Through my rebirth out of the thoughts of all men, in a broad, social thought feeling, I will find within myself the Christ Impulse. When I do not view myself alone as the source of everything that I think; but view myself, in the innermost part of my soul, as a member of mankind, then a path to Christ will be found.


This is the path that today must be designated as the Thought Path to the Christ. Astern self-education is needed to acquire this sense of reckoning with the thoughts of others. It must become an earnest life task, in conversations with others, to correct what we automatically carry as our views within ourselves. Were this not to take place, as a life task among men, mankind would lose the way to Christ. Today, this is the path of thought...


Don't ask for abstract paths to Christ: ask for these concrete ways. Ask how it is with the path of thought: it consists in becoming inwardly tolerant for the views of humanity, in gaining social interest in the thoughts of others.

For Doctors and Healers

Please click on the image to enlarge. Then help me spread the word!

Julian Treasure: Shh! Sound health in 8 steps | Video on TED.com

Didn't I just write about this? If you care about silence, natural and healing sounds, watch this awesome video.

Julian Treasure: Shh! Sound health in 8 steps | Video on TED.com

TURN IT DOWN!!!

Seriously, how loud does everything have to be?  At a dinner with friends Friday night, we talked about how often we have to ask for music to be turned down everywhere we go--from stores, to coffee shops and restaurants, everything has become unbearably noisy.

I entered a watch store a few weeks back and couldn't get the attention of any of the salespeople. They were staring vacantly, yet absently moving along with the deafening beat. They were in slow motion. I was trying to ask a question and was motioning to my ears and they still didn't get it. I finally yelled, "CAN YOU PLEASE TURN DOWN THE MUSIC ?" Yes, it was that loud. Very, very loud. They looked at me as though I were a crazy villainess and grudgingly slow motioned to wherever the controls were. They adjusted the volume so minutely that I just gave up and walked out.

On a recent trip this summer, D. and I marvelled at how nice and quiet the malls were. You can actually think while you shop and enjoy walking without feeling so assaulted. Here, I zip in and out and have learned to stay away from noisy places.  If I'm hearing the music from outside, I know it's going to be unbearable inside. Forget it.

Really, how loud does it need to be? Until there are laws that protect our hearing, I'm going to keep asking everyone to please turn it down.

TURN IT DOWN!