How does it move through you?

Each time I open my mailbox or Facebook, I am inundated with requests for help. How do you choose which initiative to give to? At what point do you stop?

These are questions I have been living with since the typhoon hit. I give by feel. If there is a person I know and trust at the other end of the initiative, I will give there. If it is an initiative that causes a sudden swelling of my heart, I give there. But now I have chosen just one or two that I would like to see through, also because I want to focus. No one can save the world alone and we have to trust that others are doing their share where they are needed.

I think I may have overdone it this time, judging from the thudding in my heart each time I realize I've left this or that bill unpaid, but I simply have to trust that by giving towards the improvement and healing of our country, I have made a sound and wise investment.

There was a significant amount of money I had to let go of recently because it was claimed by someone else. I had thought it was meant for me, but with all the inhuman behavior around it, I knew it would be folly to insist on taking it. To me, it is about energy and intention. It isn't just money.

As I age, I am beginning to realize the true nature of money. It is energy. It is supposed to flow. This doesn't mean one behaves irresponsibly and gives everything away, but I'm coming to the understanding that it is better used, out there, moving, than sitting in the bank doing nothing. There are many ways for your money to move as it should and I find that when you give, you realize you have more room to give where you thought you didn't before. Spaces open up when you are awake and conscious about the true value of money and what it is supposed to do in the world.

Ondoy has opened up spaces in our hearts and homes that were not there before. I've cleaned out my closet three times, and each time I thought I had given to the max. My children have given away clothes they still wear because they know they have more than what they need.

The challenge today is to begin to live even more simply and to make sure that whatever money we have moves through the world as well. When you put your money in initiatives that matter in the world, you are making an investment that is wide, deep and from the heart. No bank can give you that.

Happy Days

I've been listening to a lot of music lately, something I don't normally do because I'm a big fan of quiet, but since Ondoy....well...the world has changed. A part of me puts one foot in front of the other each day, but a big one reaches towards the past, looking for memories of a simpler world. The world of Burt Bacharach.

I just love him.

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GREAT WALL OF GARBAGE

photos by Eileen Juan Grey

This is what it looks like along the floodway. The blurred photo is just to show the length of it. This is refuse from the flood; it doesn't even show trash from relief goods. Imagine the styrofoam food containers, noodle packages, cans, plastic bag upon plastic bag. Though there is a need to get things out quickly and cheaply, there is a price to pay for it and we will pay again and again for fast and cheap.

It may take a little bit more time to wrap food in banana leaves, but the long-term effects are worth it. It may cost a bit more to purchase bayongs and other reusable bags, but we always have to take the long view. The extra time and centavos will seem like nothing compared to yet another disaster caused by even more garbage. If you just HAVE to send plastic out, at least put a tag on each bag that says: ANG PLASTIC BAG NA ITO AY MAARING GAMITIN ULIT. ANG PAGTAPON NITO AY SANHI NG PAGBARA AT PAGBAHA. SALAMAT SA INYONG TULONG.

Even as we help others today, let us prevent another disaster waiting to happen. Just look at the photos. It's already upon us.

THE BIG PICTURE

Who is looking at it?

Everywhere we turn, all we see is need. No matter how much we've done and given out, knowing that others are doing the same, it seems we're not making a dent. There are places that have not been reached. Meanwhile, there is the problem of plastics and styrofoam containers--the double-edged sword of relief. We use them to get goods out fast so that people can be helped. And yet, and yet....where is everything going? Garbage collection and processing..who's taking care of that?

Horrific stories abound. Most people I know who have been tirelessly working to get help out are already feeling as though they are being pulled every which way. The government, as usual, is performing poorly. Do they have the big picture? Are they ready for the coming storm?

What do we do with all the questions?

DOES IT REALLY GO ON?

Today I woke-up as usual, put breakfast on and then had to bring my son to the dentist. But I seemed to exist in a parallel universe where I was busy connecting people, getting goods where they were needed, helping out more than I already have. But not today. Today, it was business as usual at home, at least from the outside.

It's weird how life can go on. People who can say that are dealing with feelings of guilt. Whatever did we do to be so lucky? I guess it's human nature. I like to see it as a message that we have to do everything we can to help those who lost everything, over and over again.

Inside us, we know it doesn't go on as usual, despite the sunshine and the outer world looking only slightly tainted. Life goes on but everything is changed. Nothing can ever be the same.

photo by Erik de Castro

COME ON!!

Give it a break, will you. Do something authentic out of the goodness of your heart, without needing or wanting anything in return. Really, how can you sleep at night?