BUKAS NA!!

Please come to the festival on truth tomorrow.  This is a non-political, purely cultural celebration of truth and integrity. If you know anyone aged 16 to 29, encourage them to join the Philippine Vision Cafe. This is a great way for young people to get involved. Don't forget to click on the "Rizal and the Truth" poster on the sidebar.  Be there!!

I don't know why this poster is coming out so tiny, so please just click on it and view the details. At least try and come to meet Hartmut and hear him speak. He is a very special individual who was so much to share.  I hope to see you there.

What a Mess!

I went through every page of my newspaper today when a column title jumped out, "Don't Make A Mess In Your Own Backyard". I don't normally read that columnist anyway, but today I did. He was referring to the sexual harassment case filed by a young woman against an executive of a television network. The columnist said he hoped the network would handle it well and then continued to say, "I'm not a saint, but I have utmost contempt for fellow machos who make their female subordinates the object of their excess sexual energy. Why do they make a mess in their own backyard? Why can't they go elsewhere, if they have problems with their wives? Ang dami-daming babae sa labas, sa sarili mo pang bakuran ka magkakalat!"(Note: italics his)

These statements exemplify the Pinoy Macho (FROM HELL) mentality. He assumes that when men betray their wives, it is because they have problems with them. I say, men who betray their wives have problems. Period. And more likely, it is the wife who is at the receiving end of it. The problem is deeply rooted in integrity -- the healthy integration of soul, mind, body and more, in one physical body.  If you have a problem with your wife, is the solution to sleep with someone else? Are problems with wives all sexual in nature? Sexual problems do not have their origins in sex. But that isn't even the point. The columnist was basically saying that it's perfectly okay for married men to sleep with other women as long as they don't do it in "your own backyard".  

Am I the only one whose innards are twisting in fury? This is the kind of fragmentation that seems to lie at the core of our problems.  Ok lang magnakaw, basta magdasal at magsimba. Ok lang magsinungaling sa tao kasi lahat naman ng ginagawa mo, sa palagay mo, ay para din sa kanila. Ok lang na tumakbo ka kahit sinabi mo nang hindi ka tatakbo, e ganoon naman talaga ang politika. Ok lang ba? Ok ka lang?

Not for me and not for many others awakening to what it means to be truly human in the world today.  This means a conscious effort at integration which, in effect, eases out lies and dissonance.   A fully integrated human being cannot lie.  He cannot say one thing and do another.  It is not okay to make a mess in anyone's backyard, especially when you are hurting others, regardless of what the situation is.  You want to be with someone else? Be man enough to face the consequences.  Be man enough to tell your wife. Is it worth all the pain she and your children will carry for all time? These are questions that must be asked and answered.  

Let's not delude ourselves into thinking that infidelity is perfectly acceptable within defined parameters.  That is such a weak cop out.  Though I realize that most Filipino men live this way today, it is our task now (for the sake of future generations) to say that it is not okay at all. We need to show it and live it.  It is not okay to knowingly betray other people, no matter what the excuse.  We are human, yes, and we fall, but after that we know exactly what we need to do. We cannot excuse our bad behavior any longer. As we can all see today, these "permissible zones" are exactly what bring a country and its people to their greatest despair.

Talk about making a mess in your own backyard.

IPANALO ANG TOTOO

Here's another great video by another dear friend, colleague and spiritual brother, Jay Cruz. Jay was a voice of utter cynicism in the PAGASA forum with Conrad de Quiros. He was sitting behind me and the heaviness of his words were really cutting. It took him a few months to join the PAGASA workshop after we invited him, but he came. And he has been with us since. What a force to contend with. Mae and Jay have really added energy, humor and excellence to our work. Jay's video is another winner. It really uplifts you! With talents like his and Mae's consciously and actively working on transforming our country, how can anyone feel hopeless?

MAE PANER'S "LUPANG HINIRANG"

I'm so proud of this video because a dear friend and spiritual sister, Mae Paner, created it.  She came to a PAGASA workshop a fantastic and talented commercial director, responsible for putting one or two people in the Senate.  She left the workshop feeling she could no longer use her gifts that way and created this instead.  This video has taken a life of its own and is inspiring Filipinos everywhere.  I've been waiting to upload this and now, finally, here it is. Amazing.

YOU HAVE TO COME!!!

I have been neglecting my blog because I have been very busy with PAGASA and the related initiatives.  The next one coming up is "Pepe Goes to Market".  This will be a festival that celebrates truth so please try and make it.  Check out the schedule of activities and make sure you  block the dates.  If you feel like you want to be part of the energy that's working hard to transform this country from the inside out, but don't know where to begin, this is it!  I hope to see you there.

INTEGRITY EVERYWHERE

 

My heart broke last week when a most respected and loved columnist wrote that he didn’t mind a president with mistresses, but wouldn’t abide a liar and a cheat. I’m still in mourning. I don’t understand how infidelity can be acceptable if integrity is the primary requirement for a leader. In order to govern with integrity, that leader must first live it.

 

Integrity isn’t something you put on for work and hang in the closet in exchange for your slippers at the end of the day. It lives in your bones. It holds you upright no matter where you are, no matter who you’re with. Integrity cannot be fragmented. This is why I cannot imagine settling for a leader who might be able to govern well but will repeatedly cheat on his wife. Infidelity corrupts the soul of families and predisposes innocent children to a future of lies and deceit. Some will argue that what their families don’t know or see won’t hurt them but I say these are the very things that will wound them deeply. Children do not have to see the details, but everything that happens in and around them—everything the parents carry in their souls—are imbibed by them unconsciously and will sprout into god-knows-what in adulthood. The dawning of this reality altered the course of my life and continues to influence it.

 

During a recent PAGASA forum, Fr. Albert Alejo of EHEM! spoke about "The Culture of Corruption". He said corruption kills. Corruption in the DOH robs sick people of medicine. Corruption in the DENR causes landslides. It does kill. Cheating on your family is corruption of the first water. It deprives them of clarity and health of soul. It robs them of truth and choice. Cheating is cheating. There are no degrees. A president who has a mistress is already a cheat. If he can betray those he vowed to love and cherish, what is it to him to wound an entire nation of faceless men and women?

 

A reader recently wrote that at least GMA is the devil that we know. By asking for special elections, he felt PAGASA was exposing the Philippines to a greater danger—that of a devil we don’t know. I could have wept. Settle for a devil we know? How can we settle for any kind of evil? This is why PAGASA’s first and foremost call is for inner change. What is inside will inevitably seep out into the world. It cannot be held in. What is rotten will not bear fruit. There is no way around it.

 

We are in this mess because corruption has become convenient. We shake our heads, might feel a twinge of guilt or remorse but do it anyway. We make a u-turn where we shouldn’t because going the right way will eat up time already taken away by the unbearable traffic. Everyone else is doing it anyway. Why go the extra mile? Anyway, we can pay our way through with cash or rank, especially if we are a government official. All we need to do is flash our infamous face to the traffic enforcer and we’re off. We tell our children drugs are dangerous but indulge in them because we know what we’re doing. Besides, we’re only social users. We instruct our helpers to tell callers we’re not home, even as our children look on perplexed. Aren’t we home, right by the phone? What does it teach them about us, about life, about what it means to be a fully responsible, socially engaged Filipino?

 

Even as we call for change, very few are calling for the fundamental change of the Filipino himself. But that is impossible. We cannot change structures, if those who will inhabit them are not changed. We cannot expect a clean government if those who run it do not hold integrity as an incorruptible value. We cannot expect our children to be citizens of truth if we habitually negate our vows—words we uttered on our own, aloud, in Church, before a priest, before the image and likeness of the Christ.

 

We are human and sin is part of our destiny, but how we consciously transform it makes all the difference. When the dust has settled and we start picking through the rubble, do we resolve to become better people and will the changes, or do we shed tears, make all the appropriate noises, and then fall back into the cycle of untruth?

 

We cannot change anything in government if we are not willing to make the changes in our personal lives. What good is a clean government if society continues to tread the muddy path? Everything begins at home. If we are going to demand integrity of our leaders, we should aim for the whole package. I fully accept the humanity and weakness of every leader, but I do care that he or she always strives for wholeness and good.

 

Integrity from within is the only kind that brings true and lasting change. Everything else is fluff.

Feb 2006